I haven't written a post of the funny things Jamie says in a while, so some of these are a little old. And as usual there will probably be too many for anyone but grandmas!
One day around Halloween, Jamie and I had the following exchange:
Jamie: A monster is coming!
Me: Oh my! What kind of monster?!
Jamie: A corporeal ghost!
(Thomas and I had previously used the phrase but it was oh-so-funny hearing it come out of his mouth!)
One day after we had been coloring, he suddenly exclaimed, "Send it to Emily!" and ran off with his picture. When I caught up to him and asked what he was looking for, he said, "a yellow thing." He meant a padded envelope, like those we had used to send Emily care packages.
In the fall, I was pointing out the tree colors to Jamie and said, "Aren't they pretty?" He replied, "Like Mommy! Mommy is pretty like the trees."
One morning we had blackberries for breakfast...
Me: Remember how Peter Rabbit and his sisters had blackberries for dinner?
Jamie: Peter didn't.
Ha ha, he was totally right.
While I was putting the dishes away one day, he said to me, "Good job Mommy for putting the things away."
Jamie got a time-out while I was making his lunch once, and I could hear him crying from the other room, "Please Mommy don't eat my food!" It's not funny when he's sad, but sometimes I can't help but laugh at what made him sad in the first place.
Jamie told me I should be a princess for Halloween....
Me: What should I wear to be a princess?
Jamie: [pause] What does a tiger wear?
Me: What does a tiger wear?
Jamie: They wear stripes!
Once he told me that "mooses" have antlers "to scare ants away."
We were reading a book that had a picture of a man "shaving whiskers."
Jamie: Why is he shaving whiskers?
Me: So his face will be smooth...
Jamie: Because he's not a kitty cat!
One day I told Jamie we needed to run over to the store, but he told me running would take too long and we should drive instead.
He frequently says, "Thank you for making that Mommy" at breakfast or dinner. It is so sweet!
He likes to pretend that his little step stool is a "tuffet," and we take turns being Little Miss Muffet and the spider. All his idea.
On one of our many long traveling days, Jamie was sitting in his car seat with Peter Rabbit, reciting Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Then he said, "I am teaching it to Peter! I am a teacher!"
One morning when I went to get Jamie out of bed, he had stuffed Peter Rabbit down the front of his pajamas. When I asked what Peter was doing there, he said, "He is growing like Jamie was."
Jamie: I am a doggy!
Me: You are? What kind of doggy are you?
Jamie: [pause] Clifford!
Jamie thinks all water towers are called "the sunsphere," and he thinks that skyscrapers scrape the sky, like with a scraper (sometimes he pretends to be one). He also thinks that a hammer "hams" and a lightsaber "lightsabes."
One day at dinner...
Jamie: I found sausage!
Me: You did? Where was it?
Jamie: In here! (pointing at his dinner plate...there was no sausage in dinner.)
Me: Oh my. What kind of sausage was it?
Jamie: High fructose corn syrup sausage.
Ha ha, that one about killed us.
He likes to pretend that we are "a family of bears." One morning at breakfast while we were eating our oatmeal, he exclaimed, "The Mommy bear made us some porridge!"
Sometimes he just blows me away with things he knows...
Me: Jamie, we're going to the park.
Jamie: Which park?
Me: The usual one.
Jamie: The one on Kingston Pike.
Me: [completely flabbergasted] Uh, no, it's not on Kingston Pike. But it's pretty close.
Jamie: [after a while] The library is on Kingston Pike.
And it totally is!
Jamie: I am a big boy. I am not little anymore.
Me: When were you little?
Jamie: [pause] Thursday.
Me: Thursday?! But you've gotten big since then?
Jamie: I got big on Tuesday.
One morning he was too busy fixing cars to change out of his pajamas, so I told him he needed to change into his mechanic clothes. He asked why, and I said he couldn't fix cars in his pajamas. He said, "That is ridiculous!"
One morning he said, "I like Dr. Seuss when he writes books so we can read them."
Another day he said, "I love the tortillas but I can't let the tortillas stay out of my mouth!"
When we were staying with my parents over Christmas, Grandpa was coming up the stairs pretending to be a monster. Jamie told him, "You are just a grandpa really. I know you are a grandpa."
One night he started saying "I want Mommy" after I had already put him to bed. I usually don't go in unless he's crying, but I did that day, and he said, "I just wanted you to know how much I love you."
A conservation we had in the car one day:
Jamie: I wanted to see out of my window more easily.
Me: Oh yeah?
Jamie: So I wiped my eye. To see more easily.
Me: Was there something on your eye?
Jamie: There was a piece of an acorn or something.
Me: There was??
Jamie: There was a little piece of bark or something.
One day he heard the name Oscar Wilde and decided that Oscar Wilde was his best friend ever and wouldn't stop talking about him. Quotes from that day:
"I saw Oscar Wilde in England!"
"He is blue!"
"He is green! There is a blue Oscar Wilde and a green Oscar Wilde and an orange Oscar Wilde. They are my friends!"
"He gave me a hug!"
"My very own Oscar Wilde!"
"I will ask him if I can be his. Oscar Wilde says, 'Okay, you can be mine.'"
"I just love him!"
"I will put Oscar Wilde right here so he can't fly away!"
One day he said something kind of rude so I told him he needed to say some nice words to me. He gave me a kiss instead and said "kisses are words."
The other day Jamie told me he wanted cheese for lunch. I told him no because we were going to have some cheese at dinner. He told me, "Cheese is more of a lunch thing." Apparently Thomas had said that to him one day, but I didn't know at the time.
When we were playing in the snow a couple days ago, he kept saying, "My nose is a cherry!"
Last night while I made dinner, Jamie sat in his room by himself "reading" books. He would get one off his bookshelf, flip through all the pages, and then pull down another one. He did this forever. He almost never plays by himself so we were amazed. He only stopped because it was dinnertime, and then only under protest!